Gateway drug

My mother has been a catalog shopper for years and years.  And of course when you order one thing from one catalog, that triggers a dozen other places to send you their catalogs, and it snowballs from there.  You wouldn’t believe the mail my parents get.  My dad had to install a bigger mailbox to handle all of the catalogs my mother receives. 

One thing my mother hasn’t embraced is Internet shopping.  It’s unreal to her.  She can’t hold the Internet in her hand and flip through its’ pages while she’s sitting in the doctor’s office.  She can’t mark a page with a sticky note and show it to me later.  The Internet and its’ shopping are fantastical, unbelievable. 

I, on the other hand, would rather shop the Internet than a catalog any day.  Mostly this is because I know what it is that I’m looking for, and I’m not just browsing around hoping something I just can’t live without will catch my eye.  And sometimes, the Internet is the only place to find a particular thing. 

But my mother is on the verge.  She has found a rug that she wants, and of course this is a pattern that has been discontinued by the manufacturer.  Her usual sources can’t get the rug for her, so she’s done the only other thing she can figure to do — search the internet.  She’s found a source, and she’s ready to buy, but she’s still not sure.  So now she’s got me on the case, checking to see that this is a reputable company before she gives them her credit card number. 

If she actually succeeds in ordering something online, it could be the tip of the iceberg. 

 

– Mox

I have been alone too long.

Because I am an only child, and because of the way I am wired, I am one of those people who are not bothered by being alone.  I don’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I just don’t feel the need to be around other people a whole lot. 

Oh, I like to be around people, too, but I not to the extent that when I find myself alone I start to freak out.  It’s a little hard to explain. 

These past few weeks I have been alone a lot.  I go into the office and many times I’m the only person there for the largest portion of the day.  I’ve been busy running Spawn hither and yon, so I’ve had quite a bit of alone time in the car, too.  And at home my husband has been in a funk and off to himself.  It’s put me in a quiet frame of mind. 

Today at lunch I walked down to get something to eat (alone again today) and saw two women I know standing in line ahead of me.  I hesitated for a quick second, and then I turned around and left and went somewhere else for lunch.  I just didn’t feel like being sociable.  What is wrong with me? 

Too many worries, not enough money, and a great deal of uncertainty.  I think that’s what. 

– Mox

A hairy situation.

The end of my patience has been successfully reached. 

Funny what 90-degree days and 70+% humidity will do to the resolve of one woman growing out her hair.  Particularly if that woman has a pretty thick mane to begin with.  And especially if that woman is me. 

I am now officially on the hunt for a shorter haircut. 

Right now I’m Googling for images, using terms like “pixie cut” and “short shag cut”.  My stylist is going to freak. 

– Mox

 

My future, it is in storage.

My mother is having some painting done at her house this week.  Yesterday I helped her to unload the room to be painted, taking down pictures and moving breakables.  Now, my mother is on the threshold of 70, which truthfully seems a lot younger to me than it did twenty years ago.  Several of my friends have already lost their parents, and I’m becoming more and more aware that my time with my parents is growing shorter. 

Because I am an only child, I inherit everything whether I want it or not, and yesterday pointed up the fact to me that “everything” is quite a bit of stuff.  My mother has her house decorated within an inch of its’ life, and with more than 35 years residence in the same place, I shudder to think what I’m going to have to do to process the detritus of my parents’ life together.  This is not an advisable topic of rumination for someone who gets easily overwhelmed by volumes of stuff. 

It’s been twelve years since I last cleaned out a relative’s residence, when my grandmother was terminally ill, and I was fortunate enough to have a very dear friend who was willing to come and sort things through with me, when my mother couldn’t bear to do anything further.  And that was a one bedroom apartment, not a three bedroom ranch-style house.  My grandmother had already gone through all her stuff years before and pared down.  It was easy, now that I look at it. 

My default setting is to not go around borrowing trouble, not investing the mental energy it takes to worry over some things.  But the magnitude of what awaits me just sorta hit me yesterday, and frankly, folks, I don’t know that I’ll be able to get through that without a steady supply of adult beverages. 

 

– Mox

Best laid plans.

So I was all set to take Spawn and Friend to the zoo for the last day of zoo camp today.  Friday is my day off from work (actually, the whole office is taking Fridays off during the summer, I believe this is called a perk) but I was ready to saddle up and make the trek into Neighboring City anyway.  I planned this all out.  Since I didn’t have to show my face in the office I was going to drop the kids off at the monkey cage (seriously, they’d be a draw) and make tracks to the mall.  I even scheduled a massage.  It’s so rare I get a day to myself that I was really going to live it up, maybe even get a cappuccino. 

Well, since I’m here posting this you can assume that my plans have been waylaid. 

Friend’s grandmother had an appointment in Neighboring City this morning, so she offered to take the kids to zoo camp for me.  You know, so I wouldn’t have to waste my gas on a trip that I wouldn’t ordinarily make on a Friday.  She was being so kind that I just let her do it.  I bundled Spawn off into her car and I went to the gym. 

I am still going to make my massage appointment, though.  I’ve been looking forward to that all week. 

Oh well, you know what they say about mice and men. 

 

– Mox

It’s all in what you compare it to.

I try really hard not to compare Spawn to other children, since all that does is point up the fact that Spawn isn’t exactly like other children and makes me feel like a less than stellar parent.  I try not to compare, but I end up doing it anyway.  I mean, I already know that I could be a better mom but sometimes I feel compelled to beat myself up, just for fun. 

But it’s hard not to see the difference in my child when my child is literally sitting right next to someone else’s child in the back seat of my car. 

I try really hard to celebrate the fact that Spawn is wired a certain way, that the imagination and expressiveness is going to someday serve the kid well.  But sometimes I just wish that the kid would be more like the other 7 year olds I know. 

Then again, I have a really special kid, one full of heart and compassion.  This morning Spawn found a baby bird that had been knocked out of its nest.  For our cats, a baby bird equals a tasty hors d’oeuvre.  So while I was racing around trying to get ready for work this morning, Spawn was out in the back yard rescuing the bird.  This involved a small box, nesting materials, and a freshly dug worm.  Spawn put the box containing the bird and nesting materials in the fork of a tree and was satisfied that it was “rescued” from the cats’ clutches.  I have my doubts about that, of course, because the bird looked pretty weak to begin with, but who am I to pooh-pooh the kid? 

When it comes to caring about things, I wish other kids could be more like my kid. 

 

– Mox

Back to the ashram.

Ferrying Spawn and Friend to zoo camp this week has been rather interesting.  It’s funny the things that seven-year-olds find to talk about when they think the adult in the front seat isn’t listening.  Spawn’s friend has said a few things that, if Friend’s mother knew what was said, Friend’s mother would die of mortification and then rise up again to kill her child. 

Me, I’m just plain amused. 

Yesterday on our trek home, Friend spotted a van that is painted up to resemble the Mystery Machine.  It’s something of a local sensation around here, a little bit out of the ordinary.  Of course this led to a discussion of all things Scooby, because Spawn is a passionate fan of the gang.  At one point in the discussion, Friend was pretty exasperated with Spawn and said (with a dramatic sigh) “Spawn, that’s not really the Mystery Machine, it’s just a van painted to look like it.” 

Not to be outdone, Spawn replied, “Yeah, I know.  Those people are just hippies.” 

Really?  Hippies?  In this day and age?  This was just too good to pass up, so I decided to insert myself into the conversation. 

“Do y’all even know what a hippie is?” 

I was assured that yes, of course, they know what a hippie is.  At the very same time both of them approximated a lotus posture (not easy to do in booster seats and seat belts, but they managed), arranged their fingers in a mudra position and intoned “ohhhmmmmmm….” 

I pressed the issue further and also learned that hippies wear old clothes, look weird, and have long hair.  They seemed to be on something of the right path so I let it go before we got into a discussion of turning on, tuning in, and dropping out. 

I don’t know why we bother to send these kids to school.  They apparently already know everything. 

 

– Mox

 

Spawn, vegetarian. Sort of.

At dinner last night we had a roasted chicken.  As my husband pulled off a drumstick and put it on Spawn’s plate, the kid very quietly said, “ew.” 

“Ew?” 

“Daddy, I’ve decided not to eat animals anymore.  I’m going to be a vegarian.” 

“Oh?  You’re going to be a vegetarian?” 

“Yes, that’s what I said.  Vegarian.” 

So we enter into a conversation about what it means to be a vegetarian.  Which is pointless because the list of vegetables that the kid will eat is pretty short.  But Spawn, ever at the ready with an answer, is prepared for that. 

“Ok, so I’ll just eat macaroni and cheese.” 

Which prompts us to enter into a conversation about being vegan.  Spawn decides that veganism isn’t the way to go, since that will eliminate the cheese portion of the mac & cheese. 

“Maybe I’ll just eat fruit.  Yeah.  Just fruit.  I like all kinds of fruit.” 

“So you’ll be a fruitarian.” 

“Yeah.  A fruit… what?” 

“A fruitarian.” 

“Yeah.  That.” 

“Well, I guess that means no more Wendy’s cheeseburgers.” 

Spawn is thoughtful for a moment. 

“Ok, just fruit.  And Wendy’s cheeseburgers.  And meatloaf.   Mama, can you make a meatloaf for supper this week?” 

I love to see the kid’s social consciousness starting to bloom, even if it gets easily derailed at this point in time. 

 

– Mox

Well, hello.

I guess you’ve noticed by now that I’ve been taking Fridays off.  When you don’t have much to say, this is an effective strategy.  Keeps the stress down some, too. 

I spent last week helping out with bible school, and let me tell you, my butt was whupped each and every day.  I don’t know how you teachers out there do this on a daily/weekly/yearly basis.  I’m still not recovered. 

This week, Spawn is going to zoo camp with a friend, and next week, the two of them are going to church camp together.  At the end of July we’ll all load up and head off to a family reunion.  In between we’ll try to shoehorn in a semi-pro baseball game (we have free tickets waiting) and a trip to the water park (so the kid can shut up about it, already).  The summer has just begun and already it’s picked up steam. 

And then school will be starting. 

My grandmother was right:  the older you get, the faster the days go. 

– Mox

What it’s like.

I have been watching airline fares yoyo up and down for the past two months, and it ain’t gettin’ any better, folks.  At this rate we’ll be spending fall break sitting around the blowup pool in our backyard. 

– Mox