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Archive for April, 2010

Oh, y’all. 

I hate my life. 

Specifically, I hate my life as it relates to my job, which for the record ain’t much of a job.  But there are no jobs to be had in my area of expertise (believe me, I’ve looked) and even if there were I’m just not that all-fired sure I’d want one.

I seem to be trapped in an alternate universe of craptastic days. 

I am wondering if there is a larger message here and like the dunderhead I am, I am missing it. 

— Mox

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It’s precisely what most women dread, this thing about becoming just like our mothers.  It starts at about age 14 and keeps going, getting more and more dreaded and dreadful as the years pass, until finally it becomes okay at just about age… never. 

We all want to be a “better” version of a woman than what we have had presented to us by our mother, to improve upon her life, not make the mistakes she made, not have the same outcome.  Because that’s how we are.  We live under the illusion that we are faster, smarter, savvier, and we forget that in the end the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

So yesterday I did something that my mother would have done.   

I was at the grocery store, trying to check things off the list in my head because I had forgotten my list at home (typical), when I ran into a classmate of my mother’s.  We chatted for a few moments and then went our separate ways, and as I was in the checkout line, in the back of my brain I was still turning the conversation over in my head.  Where, you know, the grocery list in my head had formerly resided. 

And then I proceeded to write a check for my groceries over and above the total figure. 

When the cashier handed me $40 cash I came back to the here and now.  Wha–? 

“You wrote the check for more than the total.  I thought you wanted cash back.” 

Oh.  Okay. 

I stuffed the money into my purse and went on my merry way.  Clearly, I was not in the here and now. 

So I’m $40 richer (sort of) and very much in fear that I am losing it.  And just like my mother. 

— Mox

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So my boss was telling me about this arthritis remedy. 

Golden raisins soaked in gin. 

I said, “That sounds like a remedy I can get behind.” 

Do I have arthritis?  It’s debatable.  It’s probably more of an overdoing it at the gym. 

How it works, if it works, I don’t know.  But hey, I’m willing to try it as long as the gin holds out. 

It would seem there is a good bit more booze consumption going on around here.  It’s true, we tend to drink more when it’s warm out.  I’m a big fan of an ice cold beer after yard work.  And the longer days encourage us to sit outside rather than in front of the TV/computer.  Which, as you know, is an activity made all the more pleasant with the occasional adult beverage in hand. 

Whatever works, is my motto. 

— Mox

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I hate to complain about my parents driving me nuts, since so many of my contemporaries no longer have their parents around to drive them nuts, but my parents have been driving me nuts here lately. 

It’s the bane of existence when you are an only child.  There’s just no one else out there to spread the crazy around to. 

I can’t really pinpoint any one thing that’s making me nuts, it’s just an accumulation of things.  Probably a little too much togetherness here lately. 

BUT my parents have left for a short four-day trip, a five hour drive from here, and I hate to admit it, but I feel quite free.  It’s that same feeling you get when you drop your kids off at the schoolhouse door and drive away, knowing that for a few hours, someone else is in charge of them and you can do your thing, whatever your thing is. 

For me, it means I can go to bed early and read a book, not having to have my nightly conversation with my mother.  That looks mighty shallow, written out like that, but it’s a luxury I can rare afford. 

It’s like I’m getting a mini-vacation, too. 

— Mox

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I wonder, is it bad form to have your 9-year-old take your big-ass empty bottle of Jim Beam out to the recycling bins? 

— Mox

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I remain optimistic that I will be able to return soon with my pessimism and various and sundry bitchings.

But I will say this, it’s nice to be too busy to post. It’s been too long since that happened.

— Mox

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However, just about everything last week was broken, and some of it was unfixable. 

I suppose I could enumerate the things that went wrong last week, but that would be boring and also a source of repeated stress for me, so suffice it to say that thank god that’s over.  You really don’t need any more than that and I’d really like to move on. 

Maybe I’ll be able to resume regular posting this week.  Fingers crossed! 

— Mox

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