I’m going to do a little something new and different here. I tend to live in this space as if it were my whole world, and that means that my whole world is abnormally small from that perspective. But today I’m going to do something I’ve never done here (at least not in recent memory, my memory really isn’t all that reliable).
I’m going to link to a post from another blog.
The reason I haven’t ever done this sort of thing is that it would blow my cover. I am purposely anonymous and want to keep it that way. But this is worth viewing.
I have a passing acquaintance with the person who wrote this, in a second-hand kind of way, and while my own child has nowhere near the issues her child has, I can so relate.
I know what it’s like to suspect that “something” about your child isn’t quite right.
I know what it’s like to think “maybe it’s this,” “maybe it’s that” and seek out experts in this or that field.
I know what it’s like to have to sit and listen to a doctor tell you things that confirm your thinking and yet you don’t want to hear.
I know what it’s like to have your spirit wither with this new knowledge.
I know what it’s like to make the decision whether to accept or reject what you’ve been told.
I know what it’s like to be pea green with envy when others from your/your child’s peer group brag about their kids’ accomplishments.
I know what it’s like to become a researching maniac, a tester, a tryer, an adopter, a label-reader, a crusader for that one bit of Rosetta Stone that will readjust the skewed world you live in.
I know what it’s like to love your child with a fierceness that surprises you, to take great offense at anyone who doesn’t see how amazing your kid is.
I know what it’s like to feel defeated, even on the most ordinary of days.
I know what it’s like.
And while I know all of this, what I can’t begin to know is why others can be so cruel. For most people it takes a watershed moment, something that resets your vision by affecting your life in the most personal of ways, before that cruelty falls away. Count me guilty.
Why is it that cruelty comes so easily to mankind? Why don’t love and understanding rise to the top instead?
Are we so afraid of being viewed as weak that we strong-arm our way through life, glossing over our compassion for others? It’s not a question of eat or be eaten in most cases, so why do we hit first and ask questions later? Why are we so harsh towards the things we don’t understand?
I must say that by far the best thing about being in my 40’s is the clarity that comes with each passing year. I better understand the phrase “the folly of youth.”
It’s one thing to be young and foolish. It’s quite another to be old and foolish. You really don’t have much of an excuse beyond willful ignorance, and that’s not all that excusable.
One thing’s certain: regardless of where you fall on the disability parenting spectrum, the slings and arrows of others’ cruelty sting just the same across the board. Doesn’t matter if your child is severely handicapped or mildly challenged. It all hurts.
It. All. Hurts.