Archive for October 21st, 2009


Despite my curmudgeonly tendencies, I am actually a relatively friendly person in public.  I say “relatively” because no one can compare to the chat powers my mother holds, and since I am her daughter the comparison is naturally implied. 

Hey, I’m friendly.  I’m pleasant.  I can make with the social chitchat. 

Today I bumped into the husband of a “friend” of mine, the word “friend” being quotation-marked because she is a social acquaintance and certainly not anyone I’d entrust a whole lot of personal info to.  But I know her, and I know him, and our kids are the same age, and we all (used to) go to the same church.  So I guess I know him well enough to say hello and ask how are you and the like. 

Except he wouldn’t participate in the exchange, beyond acknowledgment of my existence. 

We had to ride the elevator together for ten floors, I on my way out to street level and he, along with a couple of coworkers, to the parking garage.  To wit: 

“Hey, hi, J.” 


“How are you?” 

<crickets, while remarking to his coworkers how he was surprised to see someone he knows>

<awkward pause>

<chat amongst themselves about seeing people they know in odd places>

<and… exit> 

I got off on the ground floor more than a little perturbed.  Feeling a bit foolish, to tell the truth, like I was gushing like an idiot or something.  I got the sense he felt uncomfortable around me, for whatever stupid reason.  (Me!  Over here riding in the elevator with you, mister, and making with the nice!)  Almost like he didn’t want to acknowledge me. 

I realize this is overthinking, but considering that my “friend” tends to be a bit of a snob, her husband is easily tarred with the same brush in my book. 

I just asked “how are you?” for Pete’s sakes.  It’s a greeting, not a request for a dissertation.  “Fine, thank you, and how are you?” is an appropriate response. 

Part of the reason I no longer attend that church. 


— Mox

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