Archive for October 24th, 2008

I have been taking an abs class at my gym for a couple of months now.  It’s just about the right size for me, thirty minutes of intensity and a foreseeable goal. 

I am, however, just about the most uncoordinated person on the face of the planet. 

I learned the first night that I have no business setting up in front of the mirrors in the room.  The instructor is a tiny little Filipino woman, about four-ten and a buck-oh-five soaking wet.  She is also the kickboxing instructor at the gym, and built like a brick house.  When you are a compact sort of person, your movements tend to be precise and compact, too.  If you are nearly a whole foot taller than someone like that, complete with arms and legs a whole foot longer, any movements you make tend to look like windmilling no matter what you do. 

Those mirrors, they mess me up.  I find that I do much better watching the instructor than I do watching a reflection of myself flail around, all arms and legs flying out at random angles.  So I set myself up in an area of the room that has no mirrors, which, unfortunately, is also the area that has a double glass door.  Which means the guys sitting on the bench waiting for their taekwondo class outside the aerobics room can watch me in all my sloppy glory.  Fun, that. 

I’ve toyed with the idea of joining this instructor’s kickboxing class, but I’m not too sure my dignity can take one last blow. 

My main problem, as I see it, is an utter and abject lack of balance on my part.  This concerns me, since my mother has no balance, either, and has taken to falling flat on her face with regularity these days.  Is this what I have to look forward to on the cusp of 70?  Yikes.  Part of the reason I’m punishing myself in abs class every week is because I am working desperately to be in better health than my mother is when I hit my 60’s. 

So I decided that maybe I should work on this balance issue, and went in search of a video workout I could do, without embarrassing myself, in the comfort of my own home.  We have digital cable, so there are a lot of on-demand programs just like that, and I hit upon a section of yoga exercises that promised a stronger core and better balance.  Trouble is, not only am I uncoordinated, I am also not too very flexible.  I got about a fifth of the way through one of the yoga workouts and clicked off the TV because, whoo, ain’t no way I’m going to wrangle these gangly limbs into a warrior pose. 

I do think that at age 41, it might be too late for me to develop any athleticism.  Perhaps I should just retire to the divan with my knitting. 


— Mox

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