Archive for May 28th, 2008

Today is the last day of first grade. 

We were supposed to be out of school on the 15th but we missed a lot of school due to weather this year, which extended the school year a couple of weeks.  Now the end is here. 

I’m having a hard time deciding which is more nerve-wracking for Mama here, the first day of school or the last.  I can’t believe my baby is finished with first grade.  I started getting butterflies in my stomach this morning taking the kid to school.  What is wrong with me? 

These past ten months have been quite the experience for all of us.  While it’s always hard to embark on the necessary work of growing up, it’s especially painful to have to watch your kid’s innocence being tempered by life’s experiences.  Spawn has, in the past month or so, really become more grown, more settled.  It’s forcing me to alter the way I relate to the kid, too.  Nowadays when I joke around and act silly I’m more likely to hear a sigh and “Mom, you’re weird.”  And when a seven-year-old tells you you’re weird, then buddy, you’re weird. 

So I’m weird but I’m also just a little bit sad that my kid is finished with first grade.  While I’m not going to miss the homework battles and the constant washing of uniforms, I am going to miss the rhythm of the days and the nightly reports of what happened at school today.  This year everything has been new and amazing and perplexing and all those things that it will never be again. 

But it’s been a hard year, too.  I have been on the quest for answers since about mid-September, and it’s taken me most of the school year to find out just what’s going on in my kid’s head.  To have confirmation of what I have always suspected was going on with my kid has been both a relief and a curse.  It’s nice to know that I’m not crazy, or overreacting, but in a lot of ways I wish I were.   Some days parenting feels like penance.  It’s hard not to look toward the heavens on those days and ask why. 

And today we close the first chapter of what I hope is a long and positive book on education. 

— Mox

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