Archive for April 5th, 2008

Dear Bank Account;

Why are you shrinking? We have not put you on any sort of diet. In fact, we keep shoveling money into you. And still you’re dwindling. Are you ill?

While I prefer not to dwell too much on the dumb things we spend our money on, from time to time it’s a good idea to step back and analyze stuff like that. And you know what? I’m not running around throwing money down rat holes. The basics of living just seem to be taking up more of our resources.

I keep hearing things about the economy, words like “recession” bandied about. Now, I don’t know about all of that, what makes a recession officially a recession and stuff like that. All I know is that I keep applying my paycheck and my husband’s paycheck to you, dear bank account, and you seem to be leaking somewhere. And it’s a slow drip.

At the first of the year, one of my goals was to sell more than I buy on Ebay. That’s worked out pretty well, and at least I’ve been smart and disciplined enough to sock all those (meager) profits away. You don’t even see those dollars, and with the way you’re been hemorrhaging, I don’t imagine I’m going to show them to you any time soon.

Personally, I think you might be in cahoots with Spawn’s school. I’ve noticed lots of checks written to the school. It’s nickel and dime stuff, mostly, topping off the lunch account or buying a few books at the book sale. But as you are aware, those kinds of things tend to add up after a while. Especially when you get hit with the whammo that is tuition every 30 days.

I don’t mean to sound all blamey and suspicious, but you’ve got to admit that things don’t exactly add up in your domain. It could be, of course, that you are a victim like me. I mean, it cost me $40 to fill up my car this week. $40! In my tiny little car! Is that insane or what? And don’t even get me started on my weekly trip to the grocery store. I’ve been giving some serious consideration to us all becoming vegetarians. With the summer coming (hopefully, eventually) I can cut down on what I spend in the produce aisle by planting my garden. I cannot, however, figure out a way to raise livestock in town, so either we bite the bullet and continue to eat meat or we forsake hamburgers altogether.

I’ve been trying to ease up on you, back account, for the past couple of months, but the hits just keep on coming. Who knew that the situation in the basement would finally reach a head back in March, and now we have to shell out big bucks to two guys who are going to come in and dig up areas of the floor and install a sump pump and water management system. Of course it would be nice if it would quit raining so much, but I’ve got no control over that and neither do you. So the both of us keep staggering along as best as we can.

I’m telling you all of this just in case you’re not aware that there is a problem. Perhaps you need to visit with your physician and determine if you’ve got a slow drip somewhere or cancer or a cocaine problem. I’m just concerned for your health.


— Mox


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