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Archive for March 24th, 2008

I’m not kidding, y’all. 

I’ve been drinking decaf for the last 40 days and it’s just not the same.  Gimme the full lead version. 

This year, Lent has seemed rather irrelevant to me.  While I don’t pretend to know The Mind of God, I have wondered about this business of Lent and the attendant giving up of things.  I mean, do you think God really cares that people give up stuff for Lent?  In the grand scheme of things, do you think He’s keeping score? 

I’ve started to wonder about things like that as of late.  I realize that Lent is a time of reflection and personal discipline, but with all of the crazy stuff going on in the world, is it really important that someone give up caffeine for 40 days?  What difference does it make?  Does it raise your TVQ with the Big Guy?  Or does it just make you more pious? 

I’m also not really too sure He cares what you wear to church, just so long as you go.  This from a woman who was raised that women don’t wear pants to church, much less bluejeans.  While I haven’t crossed the denim line yet, I’ve been attending our church’s contemporary service, and doing so in pants.  Our contemporary service is populated by a lot of young adults, and we’ve got a drum set and keyboards and a praise team, and this service began several years ago in response to lagging attendance among the youthful set.  It feels a little less like church to me, since I was raised with the pomp and tradition and rites that go along with regular church.  But I guess that’s the point, actually.  It’s Church Lite, and I go because my child and my husband prefer the looser service and it’s the only way to assure that we attend as a family. 

Spawn gets plenty of High Church stuff during the week at Catholic school, anyway. 

Actually, I prefer the Catholic style of worship, with communion and incense and cantors and the whole bit.  It feels more like a conversation to me.  Problem is, I just can’t get behind some of what the Catholic church believes.  In a lot of ways I think the Pope is out of touch with the world.  I don’t think God Himself is out of touch with the world, at all, so why does the One True Church (per my grandmother) seem to be? 

I’m kind of in a weird place with my thoughts on faith these days.  There is a certain level of temptation to just chuck it all and not be involved in a faith community, but I realize that’s just refusing to do the hard work that comes with living as a person of faith.  I’m not sure refusal is an option.  But I also feel just a little bit adrift. 

Look at me.  I’m 40 years old and having a spiritual crisis. 

— Mox

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