Ten invitations went out. NO ONE called, although I did actually talk in person to three parents, two of whom said yes, their children were coming, and one whose child had another committment (boy scouts, pffft). NO ONE else bothered to contact me. Not even after I had made phone calls and talked to their stupid answering machines.
And how many do you think came to the party?
Four. Count that out. One. Two. Three. FOUR. This does not include one who said they were coming who didn’t come after all.
Four out of ten is a 40% return.
(Yes, I am still talking about this. I have talked about nothing else for two weeks now amongst my friends and family. Because it just irritates me so.)
I have tried to gently explain to Spawn that this will be the last year Mama will put up with this nonsense, that all the kids in the peer group are living busier and busier lives and not everyone will be able to come to a party. And Spawn has responded with essentially sticking fingers in the ears and saying la-la-la-Ican’thearyou.
I suppose the reason it haunts me so is that it feels like a judgement. And maybe it’s really not, it’s just my overactive imagination, but I do realize that with the issues Spawn lives with there is a lag in maturity level when compared to peers. It doesn’t help that the kid doesn’t have any siblings to help galvanize emotions and reactions. Kids just don’t want to hang around a kid who is emotionally a couple of years behind the curve.
And kids are like that, I get that, but what I don’t get is why the parents don’t use this as a teachable moment, that we don’t shit on others just because they’re not like us.
I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. Except, I don’t want to believe that it’s just me, since we go to this hotsy-totsy private Catholic school where they talk/teach all day long about doing unto others. Somebody isn’t getting the memo.
Look, fifth grade is hard enough, what with the uptick in teacher expectations and all. Spawn is really struggling with that. Parent-teacher conferences this year were painful. Then there’s the whole business of “popular kids” and “unpopular kids.” I’ll let you hazard a guess as to which group Spawn is in.
It hurts me, as Spawn’s mom. And it makes me angry. Yes, kids will be kids and kids can be cruel, but who is raising these kids? Where the hell are the adults in this scenario?
I suppose I should be thankful for the 40% turnout we had. It would be a helluva sight easier to do if some of these purported grown-ups had just done the right thing and called their hostess to start with and beg off. If you’re coming, great. If you’re not, please own up to it. My feelings (and those of my child) will be much less hurt if I know, going in, who to expect.
The way I was raised prohibits me from going all ape-shit on these people, but it does not prohibit me from spewing invective all over my anonymous blog. I am sorry you must witness this, and someday I hope to be past it. Until then….
– Mox
I feel your pain. I hate it when people flake on parties. But in this case, we’re talking about rude parents who didn’t bother to let you know one way or another. I’m a Midwesterner at heart and that sorta behavior don’t fly.
Fortunately, I got off the hook for a lot of parties cause my younger son’s birthday was always on Labor Day weekend. We finally told both our boys they could pick one friend, and we’d take them to the movies and out to eat. I just got too tired of going to parties in NYC where the “favors” cost more than the gift we brought.
I wish I could say it will get better, but the teen years ahead. A lot of my former students stop in to see me. The ones I taught the first year are graduating from 8th grade this year. Geez, I feel ancient! I’m always surprised at how much kids know (and even more, how much they don’t know). I hate all the posing and emphasis on who’s cool. My kids know I could care less. I’m just interested in them.